• It’s like I’m balding at 20! •
You know that guy in the movies who epitomizes the tacky cliche of a midlife crisis? 40, red sports car, has an affair? That guy is the equivalent of 20 year old me. Young adults are constantly depicted as lost children with the responsibilities of a real person. We don’t know what we want but we are desperately, and often aimlessly, searching to find ourselves.
Some of us have life plans instilled within us from a young age, whether from our parents or ourselves, and we fiercely cling to these ideals as if our lives depend on them… Which frankly, oftentimes they do. Now others started off lost, dazed, and confused. Their horizons were always blurry. Perhaps they felt a bleak sense of belonging or perhaps they were encouraged to follow their dreams and simply had too many. I find myself in an odd predicament as I am categorized as the former, yet I have strayed from the golden path and find myself wondering what I’m going to do with my life. I crave a greater purpose, and the path to that purpose is no longer crystal clear.
Suddenly, the years of mock trial, interning, and volunteering don’t speak to me. I created a rigid path for myself, meticulously planned. Except now it isn’t so appealing. I confined myself into a box created by societal standards, logic, and personal goals. Now, I know you’re thinking I’ve gone all free-spirit on you, but never fear, I haven’t. Maybe it’s the real world and inevitable darkness having smacked me in the face a few times, or maybe this was bound to eventually happen. Regardless, I feel like my life is unwinding and I can rebuild it in about 100 different directions. I pursue a new direction wholeheartedly nearly every day. I create lists, vision boards, goals, and tactics to achieve them. Now all I need to do is find one to stick with, and really figure it out.
I probably could retreat quietly back to my original plan. I would find ample success, but at what cost?
(Do you see what I mean? I mine as well be balding and sleeping with my secretary!)
So for those of you in a similar situation, and I know there are many of you out there, all we can do is keep trying. The question you have to ask yourself is: are you the person who would rather reach for the stars and fail, or are you the person who is content with reaching for the 9-5 and staying fairly stagnant in that place? There’s nothing wrong with either life, it’s about what will make you happy. I guess the struggle is, deciding which life will be enough for you so you can sleep at night.